God moves in crazy ways. If you haven’t seen it in your life yet…I promise that if you seek Him and lay yourself at His feet every day, it won’t be long until you do.
One of the highlights so far for me (and much of the team) on our journey has been the iron cross. It’s a place heavy with the weight of burdens, heartbreak, and strongholds; but light with the presence of hope, freedom, and Christ. When you walk up to this place, all you see is the thousands of rocks placed at the foot of the cross. Thousands of rocks, each and every single one representing something much greater than solely a piece of the earth. They represent trials, they represent burdens, they represent things that we has humans desire to hold on to because we’re too scared to let go. But here, here is where we lay them down. “Every burden, every crown.” This was our surrender, our surrender of the things holding us back from going all in. Our surrender of the things that have held us in a place of fear for certain amounts of time. Our surrender of ourselves, giving everything to Jesus. Falling on our face in worship and surrender to Him. “Surrender” a common word in this post, but what does it really mean? As Merriam-Webster states it; surrender is,
“to give oneself over to something.”
We as Christians oftentimes feel so pressured to “surrender” to the things around us. It can be hard to stand strong and fight the good fight. But right here, in THIS moment at the foot of the iron cross; surrender came easy. Not surrender to temptation or other worldly things, but surrender to the One True God. Overwhelmed by the comforting presence of Holy Spirit, I prayed. I prayed for my family, my girlfriend and her family, for my squad on this trip, for my school, and eventually…for me.
“God, I lay down my timing. I give you control over it all. I put aside my wants and desires, I put my complete trust and faith in you. Lord, I surrender all.”
In that moment, nothing else mattered. I did it. I was at peace, I had comfort, I had assurance in my mind, I knew that the safest and most rewarding place to be was in the hands of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In that moment, I surrendered everything. And since that moment, the abundance of rewards has been mindblowing.
The biggest thing I’ve prayed for on this trip is to hear the Lord’s voice. I’ve been leaning heavily into listening prayer and desiring to learn what His voice sounds like. Since I surrendered at that cross, that has been happening. We as a team start every morning with an hour of prayer throughout the first bit of our hike. Every day I pray to be used by God, to hear His voice, and to know that it was Him. It hadn’t been happening, but I was going to keep praying it. After my time at the cross, I realized that I hadn’t been hearing God’s voice because my mind was filled with distractions, worries, and thoughts that I wasn’t holding captive. I realized this because of how greatly I could feel God by my side throughout the rest of the day after we moved on from the cross, as well as every day since.
The biggest example of this occurred earlier this week, during that one hour of prayer at the beginning of our hike. I was walking and praying with one of my squad members (we usually walk with a partner or in a group of three and take turns praying, giving thanks, etc), when all of the sudden a thought popped into my mind. Usually when this happens to me, I question whether it’s from the Lord, or just a silly thing that came from me and my own mind. I usually push it aside and convince myself it didn’t need to be said. But this time…I knew I couldn’t just push it aside. I gathered up my confidence and prayed to make sure one last time that God wanted me to say this…and I said it. Instantly my squadmate let out a huge sigh of relief and eventually told me that what I said was exactly the confirmation that they had asked for from the Lord seconds before. Through this whole thing I was so happy that I could be used to help give my friend comfort over a very stressful situation. Through this time, I heard God’s voice. Not in a loud, booming, direct way. But through a feeling in my spirit that couldn’t be anything else. Now, I will continue to lean into listening; and I encourage you to do the same. Take a step back, pray for God to open your ears to listen, and feel the joy that comes with being in an intimate relationship with Jesus.
It takes time, so don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen right away. Don’t feel bad if you feel it and have doubts, we are human, and it’s easy to doubt. But I encourage you to take a step in boldness, and I believe that you will be used as a vessel if you are willing to take that step.
Wonderful, Hudson! Thanks for continuing to press in and form sharing what God showed you. Surrender is hard when we don’t know what’s on the other side. We need the kind of encouragement that you provide here. I pray that your journey continues to connect you deeply to the Lord and to his people.